Unless you’ve been prompted to consider it or someone has pointed it out, you’ve probably not thought much about your unique communication style. You most likely communicate in the way you always have and haven’t analyzed whether or not your communication is healthy or effective. Don’t worry, that’s normal. As a matter of fact, your communication style was developed long ago during childhood when your peers and family had a lot of influence in your life.
That being said, if you find that you have difficulty communicating or often find yourself at odds with other people, it could be that your childhood sabotaged your communication style. We learn what we live and if you lived in a home with chaos or unhealthy forms of communication, it’s likely you adopted those traits and still operate from them as an adult.
3 signs your childhood may have sabotaged your communication style
- Growing up, the key people in your life sent mixed messages- Communication is more than just talking. Communication also includes unspoken messages through facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and more. If you were often confused because what people said didn’t line up with how they made you feel, you may have experienced unhealthy communication. Since you didn’t know any better, you may have developed the same actions yourself and often confuse people when they experience your communication style.
- Growing up, you were unable or unwilling to be direct- Clear communication is concise and direct. It includes honesty, even when the topics are delicate. If the key people in your life were unable to be direct, kind, and confident with their communication it may have caused you to be timid, overbearing, or manipulative when you communicate. This can lead to passive aggression or running over people rather than having a healthy give and take.
- Growing up, your opinions or thoughts weren’t encouraged or considered- A hallmark of great communication is an even exchange of ideas or information. If you were not included in making decisions or not asked questions by other people you may not have fully developed a healthy communication style. Being a detective and asking important questions is an important part of communication. Asking questions helps you gather information, make more informed decisions, prevent judgmental thoughts, and builds trust and rapport. If you didn’t experience this type of inquisitive communication as a child, it may have stunted your communication style.
Your childhood has an impact on every aspect of your life, including how you communicate. If your childhood wasn’t healthy, it may be showing up in how you relate to and communicate with others. Getting some insight into your childhood can help determine if it influenced your communication style in positive or negative ways. If you discover some gaps, it’s a great time to learn some healthy communication skills that can override your earlier programming.
