A lot of the posts in this series have focused on taking a look at our own negativity and evaluating if it could damage our health, minds, and relationships. Taking a look at our own behavior is very important because in the end, it’s the only thing within our control. It is lifechanging to realize we have habits, personality traits, or behaviors that may keep us from the life we want. Making the important changes to stop acting in certain ways, can amplify our health and our relationships.
We Can Change Ourselves, but We Can’t Change Other People
Have you ever had someone point out something they didn’t like about you? How did you react? You may have been crushed emotionally or you may have resisted their critique with defensiveness. In the end, you may or may not have agreed with them and you may or may not have made any changes based on their feedback. That’s the thing, no one can make you change if you don’t want to. In the same way, you can’t make anyone change if they aren’t open to it.
So, What Happens When You’re Forced to be Around Negative People?
You likely aren’t going to escape negative people. They are everywhere. In your family, workforce, schools, and community. They work at the cash register, deliver your packages, and post on your social media. Negative people have the potential to be anywhere and everywhere. Since the only thing you can control is yourself, you can manage negative people by choosing your reaction. The key is to keep your cool, so their negativity doesn’t impact or infect your positivity.
Here are three useful tips to manage negative people without becoming negative too
Tip: Stop. Look. Listen.
Tip: Be the change
Tip: Take the lead
Tip #1. Stop. Look. and Listen. When you encounter someone’s negativity it’s important to assess what’s going on. Stop for a moment, look around (metaphorically and physically) and listen to what’s not being said. Look at the situation and assess what’s happening. Is someone gossiping? Is someone being critical? Is someone forecasting doom and gloom without good reason? Listen to what they are saying and ask yourself if their negativity is justified or makes a difference in what’s going on. If their attitude is simply negative. Start to make an exit plan emotionally and physically. You do not have to engage in a negative situation, you can make excuses and go.
Tip: Model the behavior you want to see. We’ve seen how the five people we spend the most time with can influence our behavior. People who are positive and self-aware know that they can make a healthy impact with their attitude, presence, and positivity. Model the behavior you want to see. If someone is being negative, don’t let it influence you away from positivity. Be consistently kind, polite, and positive. The other party may start to be more positive too from your influence.
Tip: Take the lead when it makes sense. Sometimes you may be in a position of authority or influence where you can suggest a more positive approach. If you have the leverage to encourage someone to be more positive, do it! You can encourage positive change by taking a mentorship approach rather than using blame or shame. Try using a personal example of a time you were negative and learned a better way. People often respond well to stories.
You won’t be able to control how negative people are, but you can control your reaction to them and how much they impact your life.
