We’ve been spending a lot of time talking about dealing with difficult people. Sadly, sometimes we are the difficult party. As I’ve mentioned, self-awareness is key to understanding ourselves and knowing our triggers. In many ways we may be excellent communicators and in others we simply may not be. It’s always good to consider if you are contributing to the health of a conversation or making it unhealthy.
One of the best ways to find out if we are part of the problem or the solution is to do an assessment. Taking a look at our communication style and assessing how successful our relationships are can help indicate if there’s any problems.
What does assessing your communication style look like?
Assessing your unique communication style is pretty easy as long as you are willing to be honest. Taking a look at your track record and how you tend to engage others is a great start. Ask yourself some simple but powerful questions.
Q? If I am being honest, how healthy is my communication style? As you reflect on this question, consider if you tend to be a good listener, seek to understand, ask questions and look for common ground? Are you intentional with your communication or do you fly by the seat of your pants?
Q? Am I frequently at odds with family, friends, or people in the community? If you’ve always got a story about how so-n-so did such-n-such, chances are you are at odds with people. If you often feel annoyed, bored, or in conflict with people from your spouse to the clerk at the store, you may need to take a look at your communication style.
Q? Am I always up for a confrontation or fight when I feel slighted? It can be very healthy to stand up for yourself and not be pushed around, but sometimes confidence can actually be an overbearing or bullying mentality. It’s good to check and assess if you have a healthy sense of self or may be unhealthy with your communication.
Once you’ve taken a closer look at your communication style you can ask people you trust for a critique as well. If you hear feedback consistently that indicates you’ve got some problems, don’t worry! There’s plenty you can do to get a healthier communication style. Do some research, take a class or work with someone you trust to improve your communication style. It can help you with your family, friends, and enhance the success of your career.
