By now, you have a pretty good idea of how to set your own personal boundaries. This takes time and patience to learn, but I believe you’re up to the challenge. What you may not realize is that it can sometimes be just as difficult to honor the boundaries of those around you. I’d like to take some time before our challenge is over to address this topic. Continue reading to learn how to recognize other people’s boundaries. Showing respect for the limits others set is just as important as learning to create your own.
Understanding Others’ Boundaries
We’re all raised with different beliefs about what is acceptable with regard to boundaries. Thus, it makes sense that we might not recognize or understand the types of limits the people around us are setting. We’re also not often taught how to be clear and explicit about our personal preferences with others. Misaligned boundaries and poor communication are common reasons for overstepping bounds. It can be difficult to know what types of boundaries the people we interact with hold.
Examples of Boundary Violations
There are lots of ways you may unintentionally disrespect or cross someone’s boundary. Making assumptions about someone’s needs or desires is one common example. Gossiping or interrupting are simple behaviors that can also be disrespectful. When you discount someone’s feelings, you make them feel bad and cross unspoken lines. You should never assume that people think and believe the same ways in which you do. This is a sure way to cause problems among set bounds.
How to Recognize and Respect Boundaries
While this is a complex topic, there are some ways that can help you to recognize other people’s boundaries. Once you are able to see these limits, you can then take steps to respect and honor them. First of all, take care to listen carefully to your friends, co-workers and loved ones. You’ll often hear underlying or even explicit messages they are sending when you simply take time to pay attention. If you feel you may not have understood or heard something, you should then open up the lines of communication and ask. Talking about preferences, wants and needs is the best way to be clear on them. Paying attention to body language or subtle cues can also be useful. If someone isn’t comfortable with a conversation topic or a behavior, they may cross their arms. Perhaps they’ll look away or change the subject. These kinds of clues can let you know a boundary exists.
Recognizing other people’s boundaries isn’t difficult once you take the time to look for clues. Being open to honest and direct communication will also help. Now that you understand more about the boundaries of others, you can start to work toward respecting them.
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