You’ve probably heard the term pick your battles. This means every fight isn’t worth having. Just because someone takes issue with you or tries to get to you, it doesn’t mean you have to engage. It’s ok to remain silent with difficult people.
Most people are uncomfortable with silence. They are also uncomfortable with confrontation. If you aren’t trained in conflict resolution it can be hard to know what to do when dealing with difficult people.
Difficult people aren’t looking for solutions
Most people who are dead set on being difficult aren’t seeking solutions to problems. Solutions include compromise, active listening, finding common ground, and committing to a positive outcome. Whether they are intentional about it or not, difficult people tend to derail healthy communication. Sometimes silence is the only answer.
Choosing silence over unhealthy communication is always preferential. Sometimes you have to simply refuse to engage. This can cause hostility, defensiveness, and a wide variety of other reactions. Don’t waste your time trying to appease someone who is determined to fight or be problematic. Be diplomatic and disengage.
Here are some tips for removing yourself from uncomfortable and unhealthy situations
Tip- Use your phone to your advantage. A lot of unhealthy communication happens via text. It’s ok to change the settings in your phone so the sender can’t see when you’ve read a message. You can even block people so their messages can’t get through. Avoid the phone if someone is trying to engage. Set it down and do something productive instead.
Tip- Create a full schedule. If you find yourself locked in a conversation that you can’t seem to escape, excuse yourself for an appointment. Simply share that you’d love to continue talking but you have somewhere important to be.
Tip- Hold your ground. There are times when you simply must be firm. Be prepared to silently avoid conflict and stand your ground. Don’t fall for the pressure to engage when someone is being blatantly difficult.
Not every battle is worth the effort. Save your fights for the ones that matter most. If someone is trying to be difficult for no good reason, being silent and refusing to engage is a perfectly acceptable option. In the end it will save a lot of headache and heartache. It can be empowering to use your silence to keep the peace or avoid being drug into a toxic situation.
