Behavior modification is the changing of behaviors through reward or punishment. Behaviors you want to reinforce are rewarded and behaviors you don’t are punished. This helps shape behavior and create more of what you want and less of what you don’t.
We learned early on in this series that negativity can begin in childhood when parents model negativity or react in negative ways. This can lead to a lifetime of dysfunction and a negative mindset that can harm our health, our minds and our relationships. Proactive parents can help their children foster positivity and grow into high-functioning adults with excellent skills and a positive outlook.
You can encourage positivity in your family by rewarding it. Here are some fun ways to get the family focused on positivity and building an optimistic lifestyle.
Catch your family doing the right thing- Punishment focuses on catching someone acting out in the wrong way and drawing attention to the negative behavior. Why not catch your family doing something positive and bring it to their attention? You can use phrases such as “I love how you said thank you when I offered you a snack!” or “I think it’s great that you calmed down quickly when you were disappointed that I said no.”
Catching your family in the “act” of doing positive things and making a big deal about it will reinforce their desire to keep at it and show them the value of being positive.
Host the positivity awards each night at dinner- You can make mealtime fun by asking each family member to praise another for something positive they’ve done. You can go around the table asking each member to compliment another for something positive. At the end vote on the family member who wins the day. Allow them to choose the dessert that night or pick a movie to watch. It’s a lighthearted way to encourage your family to look for positivity in other people.
Hold regular family meetings- Family meetings are a valuable way to get things out in the open and teach positive-based conflict resolution. Families are a team and as children grow, they will become part of other teams in their careers, social circle, and building their own families. You can help them take a positive approach to conflict resolution by rewarding them for participating and learning new skills in your family meetings.
Building positivity in the family is an important part of parenting. Being intentional to instill positivity in your children will help them be successful adults who can handle difficulties easier.
