Life’s hard enough without someone putting blame and shame on your shoulders. Living up to the wide variety of expectations others have for us can be overwhelming and downright impossible. When we are trying to overcome a negative mindset, one of the most important things we can do is stop trying to please everyone.
There’s a saying- you can please some of the people, some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. If someone has a bad opinion of you, many times it’s none of your business. Unless they are your spouse, boss, or directly connected to your day-to-day life, most people’s opinions shouldn’t make a big impact on you.
Why Don’t People’s Opinions Matter?
Generally, people who have strong negative opinions aren’t coming from a healthy place. They aren’t offering their opinions based on a constructive critique. They are usually exploiting flaws or passing judgements without enough information. Managing someone else’s interpretation of what you do and why you do it is often impossible.
Should People’s Opinions Always Be Ignored?
If you are operating in good faith and making the best effort you know how, you can generally trust that you are doing your best. If someone takes issue with your behavior or has a negative opinion about you when you’re doing your best, it makes sense to ignore them. If, however, there is truth…painful though it might be, to what they are saying, you may want to take look at what’s being said and see if it’s in your interest to make changes.
How to Ignore or Reject Negative Opinions
The negativity bias indicates that hearing a negative opinion will likely create a greater impact than hearing a compliment. Remember to evaluate opinions for their merit. Argue the counter point in your mind. Are there facts to support the opinion? If not, make the mature decision to let it go.
Remember, Your Opinions Aren’t Anyone’s Business Either
Adopting the anti-negative mindset and resisting negative opinions is a two-way street. It’s important to resist offering negative opinions about others too. You may have them, but they aren’t anyone’s business unless you are their spouse, employer or otherwise very close. If you are in a place to offer an opinion, it should be constructive and used to uplift and help someone else, even if the feedback is difficult or sensitive. Additionally, don’t engage in gossip or negative conversations about other people. Reducing the habit of condemning or judging others will help you stand up for yourself and others when they are being criticized.
The world is filled with critics, online trolls , bullies, and mean-spirited people. There are naysayers all around. It’s important not to allow their opinions to influence you to be negative. Positive people have learned to ignore other people’s opinions and not allow them to ruin their optimism.
