People are natural-born fighters. They are designed to solve problems and be determined to overcome. It’s what helps the human race evolve, adapt, and overcome some of life’s biggest obstacles. They don’t just cower when something happens, they get up and fight!
Once in a while, change comes that despite the fight, can’t be won. Changes come that you can’t keep from happening. An illness, an act of Mother Nature, or a freak accident.
The inability to solve the problem or fight back feels awful. The only thing left to do in the end is to let go but it takes a process to get to that point. Here are some important things to know about letting go when you can’t keep change from happening.
Know that it’s ok to be mad – It’s ok to be mad about what is happening or has happened. Anger is an appropriate emotion and part of the full range of human emotions. Being angry at a situation – or even a person – is ok for a while. Sorting through your anger is a natural process when you can’t keep change from happening.
Know that it’s ok to be sad – Just like anger, sadness is a natural form of expression. Anger and sadness are both part of the cycle of grief and loss, which is an important tool for dealing with change that you can’t keep from happening. Being sad is perfectly normal and ok. If you feel your sadness is unshakable, it might be a great time to get outside help.
Know that you aren’t alone – Whatever you are going through, you are not alone. From friends and family to support groups filled with people who have first-hand experience, you can lean on someone as you learn to let go during great change.
Know that you can say goodbye – From losing a pet to a loved one or a job you dearly loved, letting go and saying goodbye is possible. The timeline is yours. You determine when and how you say goodbye. As hard as things seem in the beginning, time does help heal. When you are ready, you will find the perfect way to say goodbye.
Know that you decide what the new normal is – Recovering from big, radical change that you can’t keep from happening will create a new normal. It isn’t about trying to hold on to what was or avoid the future, it’s about waiting for the strength and interest to step back into life again. You can decide what the new normal is and what it looks like.
There is power in knowing that letting go is a process. It takes time and includes a lot of emotions. It isn’t about forgetting what happened or waiting for time to dull the pain. Letting go is about feeling things, experiencing them, and checking within yourself for the perfect time to begin living a new life in a new way.
