Change has a lot of unknown factors. That can make it feel risky. Generally, the fear of change comes from not thinking things through. What remains in the dark feels… risky. Shedding light into that darkness illuminates those fears and breaks them down. Asking questions is a lot like blasting a high-powered flashlight into the change-filled darkness.
Whether you are looking for change or someone close to you is wanting to shake things up, the key is dialogue. Sitting down with one another and sharing the ideas, pros, cons, and any downside can get everyone ready for any sort of change. Here are some easy things to consider when talking about change:
When you are the one seeking change:
- If you want to change something and notice resistance from those closest to you, encourage them to ask questions. Generally, their resistance is tied to some sort of fear of the unknown.
- Be prepared to consider and answer their questions and be open to their concerns or conditions.
- Make any plans or modifications to accommodate and alleviate threats or concerns.
- While you don’t need anyone’s approval to make most changes in your life, some changes may be too big, too soon. Consider your timing and make certain your ideas fully take all things into account before you make change.
When someone you care about is seeking change:
- Get clear on what your concerns and objections are before expressing any negativity about their ideas.
- Consider if your resistance is due to any personal dysfunction you may be transferring onto them. Is their choice safe, sane, and sound? If so, their ideas should be supported.
- Be straightforward with any concerns you have; don’t use passive aggressive or vague language. Share concerns without using guilt or condemnation.
- Be a cheerleader for their change. While what they want to do might not be your best idea for them or what you want for yourself, the fact that they want to embrace a change gives you an opportunity to support them. When your time comes, they can offer their support as well.
Asking questions makes change easier. It allows both sides to share their enthusiasm and concerns as well as solve any logistical issues that may come up. Some changes only have an upside while others may cause some wrinkles that need ironing out. Either way, change can be really fun, and it is easier to manage when all parties feel supported.
