Throughout the course of the last twenty days or so, we have discovered that a healthy social life is possible at any age. We know now that our personality plays a large role in what our preferences are for socializing. We’ve also learned how important it is for our health to be socially active.
It’s a great time to remember two key things that influence our social lives-
- Our natural tendencies
- AND How those tendencies were nurtured
We are a combo pack of our natural personality and everything that happens to us. We are born with a certain innate way of being and from there our circumstances enhance or diminish those innate traits. Let’s look at some examples:
An introvert who has consistently positive social experiences can develop an extroverted communication style. That means that someone who enjoys being alone and may, under some situations, come across as shy or aloof could override their natural tendencies and appear to be very outgoing. In this case, the consistent social exposure- despite being introverted and needing alone time to recharge, an introvert may be able to be highly social because of the positive experiences they have had.
Extroverts are born to shine and be social butterflies. What happens when an extrovert has a series of negative social experiences? It could result in more timid or passive behavior. In this case, the natural tendency to be socially active and engaged is interrupted and replaced with social anxiety and a diminished desire to be social. This can lead to depression or other mental health issues since the need to socialize isn’t met in a healthy way. The extrovert might be avoiding social activities to protect their wounded psyche but need social connection to feel better.
All of this to say that our experiences throughout life impact our natural tendencies and can amplify or diminish them. If you’re seeking to create a happier, healthier social life it’s important to look at how the nurture…or lack of it, influences your personality.
If you find that your personality and your social life aren’t jiving, it’s time to take some action. Here are some thoughts:
Talk to someone – If you are struggling socially, you might need a fresh perspective. Talk to someone you trust or a coach or therapist to help you sort through where the nurture part of your life is colliding with nature.
Make changes – Nothing in life is permanent. If you are unhappy with your social life and you realize you’re being impacted by the experiences you’ve had in the past, make changes. If you’ve had bad experiences, do what you need to do to move past them. If you’ve had great experiences but still don’t thoroughly enjoy your social life, make changes to customize your social life and feel even better.
Your natural way of being is greatly influenced by what happens around you. Surely there have been some impactful experiences that either made you feel more like yourself or less. Sort them out and see how they influence your social life. Once you begin to see things clearly, you can start to create a happy and healthy social life at any age.
