Ratios tell us that for every three extroverts out there you can expect to encounter one introvert. That ratio means there are a lot of intro and extroverts out there co-mingling. While extroverts are out there trying to talk to everyone, the introverts are often hiding in corners looking pained or sitting on the couch looking disinterested. How are the two supposed to socialize?
It’s pretty simple actually, though extroverts get energized by social engagement and introverts get drained by it, there is an intersection where both intro and extroverts cross and both can benefit and enjoy being social together. Here are some do’s and don’ts for introverts and extroverts who socialize together-
- Do read the room
- Do consider the time
- Do give people grace
- Don’t make assumptions
- Don’t forget to let people have fun
- Don’t worry about it
Do – Pay attention to the chemistry and vibe: Introverts and extroverts are coming into a social situation with different experiences. Introverts know there is only a certain amount of time before they feel spent and overwhelmed while extroverts expect to feel more and more energized over the course of the gathering. Read each other’s chemistry and recognize when an introvert is beginning to lose interest or energy. It’s a great time to connect with someone else or have a more intimate conversation away from the crowd.
Do – Pay attention to the time: Time is everything when it comes to socializing and mixing intro and extroverts. The longer an event the more withdrawn or quiet introverts begin to feel. After a certain amount of time it’s great for introverts to head home so the extroverts can burn the midnight oil or hang out as long as they’d like. Instead of asking “why are you going home so soon?” Simply allow the introverts an exit strategy.
Do – Remember people are only human: Socializing with intro and extroverts can be a challenge. It’s easy to read into each other’s behavior and make assumptions. Give people grace and realize that some people are quieter, and some are more boisterous and energized in public settings. Try not to get turned off by someone’s behavior simply because it may not match your own.
Don’t – Make assumptions about one another: Introverts and extroverts often feel misunderstood by one another. Introverts are oftentimes seen as aloof or disinterested while extroverts can be labeled loud and obnoxious. Usually, neither is true. It can be hard to manage two distinct personality types that get their energy in different ways. Don’t judge too quickly and don’t make negative assumptions about someone based on their intro or extroversion and you’ll likely find there are plenty of things you have in common despite having different communication styles.
Don’t – Forget to let people do what they love: Trying to force introverts to be more social or trying to force an extrovert to sit still during a party isn’t going to work. It’s important to let people do what they love. If someone wants to sit and people watch or explore on their own, that’s just as social as someone who wants to dance with everyone in the room. Let people have fun in the way that makes the most sense for them.
Don’t – Forget people always find a way to socialize together: People always find a way to get along. An introvert will disengage when they start to feel overwhelmed or tired. Extroverts tend to seek out fellow extroverts so they can build on each other’s energy.
In the end, introverts and extroverts have been co-mingling at social events forever. They always find a way. The bottom line is be aware of the cues that clue you into what someone’s personality is and try to accommodate them while staying true to who you are.
