There are a lot of misconceptions about introverts. At the top of the list is the false belief that introverts are shy or have social anxiety. Of course, that may be true for certain people but for the most part, being an introvert has nothing to do with shyness or being anxious around others.
The ratio of introverts to extroverts is 1 to 3 so most people are extroverts who thoroughly thrive in the presence of high-energy company and live for group settings. For introverts, being in large groups for too long can cause exhaustion. That’s because introverts gather their energy by being alone and express it by being with others; whereas extroverts need companionship to feel their best.
So, the question is can introverts be social…and do they want to be? The answer of course, is absolutely YES! Introverts are social beings and rely on community for many of the same reasons their counterpart extroverts do, just in a different way.
Introverts can and actually do enjoy being social in the right conditions
Introverts are introspective which means they process internally. They tend to be highly self-aware and excellent observers. They can read a room and recognize the dynamics at play quickly. Being this aware can be draining and sometimes the overload of outside information wears them out. That’s why though they do enjoy being social, their threshold is lower for how much and how long they tend to be in crowds.
Most introverts like being anonymous in a crowd. It’s often times fun to be out and about or attending a function without having to engage multiple people. They like the activity or the action of the event, but don’t need constant connection with others at the same time.
When attending parties, it works well for introverts to attend smaller get togethers with fewer people that they likely know well. Most introverts aren’t great at small talk and avoid chatting on the phone or having light conversation. This can make them appear shy or aloof and often misunderstood.
Introverts want to be social, but they also want to be alone
One of the best attributes of being an introvert is the ability to entertain oneself or enjoy solitude that might cause depression in an extrovert. This can make it hard for introverts to take the step out the door to be more social. It can literally be a push/pull situation to try to leave the house and meet someone for coffee or a movie since introverts are drawn to staying home where they are most comfortable.
Reading this post, you may be well aware of who the introverts are in your life or you may be having a serious a-ha moment. You might even recognize yourself in the description and feel seen for the first time. The bottom line is, introverts are social, and they do desire to be with other people, they simply use different scenarios to get there.
