Hurt people, hurt people – Sandra D. Wilson
Hurting people have a really difficult time expressing themselves in healthy ways. They often carry so much baggage that they can’t see past their needs or feelings. This can make it incredibly hard to communicate effectively. It takes extra time and care to communicate with difficult people because they aren’t coming from a healthy place.
What is a broken communication style?
Signs that someone has a broken communication style include, but aren’t limited to-
- Easily offended or defensive
- Confrontational
- Passive aggressive
- Manipulating
- Gas lighting
These are only a handful of ways that people break down healthy communication and make it difficult to connect. In some circumstances it can be very difficult to overcome. Here’s why-
Broken people have open wounds
When someone has been hurt, they can carry residual wounds. If they’ve had a negative experience, they may expect all their experiences to go the same way. They may or may not realize that they contribute to the health of their communication. It’s important to understand that how they behave may have nothing to do with you but could be part of their past experience.
Broken people aren’t self-aware
Self-awareness is a hallmark of great communication. People who have broken communication styles don’t often know how they impact others. A lot of the time, they are in conflict and not sure that they are creating it. Until they are more aware of their impact and want to change, it can be hard to have healthy communication.
Broken people can become better communicators
Having a broken communication style isn’t fatal. There are a lot of pathways to improvement. If you have authority or trust with someone with a broken communication style, you may be able to offer them feedback and encouragement to sort out their mess. If delivered in the right way, you may be able to influence them into healing and better, healthier communication.
Communicating with difficult people is…well, difficult. It isn’t fun to have important conversations with people who can be rude, dismissive, unwilling, or unable to communicate in healthy ways. Don’t be swayed to react to them. Keep using your healthy communication style to keep things positive.
