One of the most important aspects of healthy and effective communication is consistency. The more consistent you are, the more trustworthy people find you. The easiest path to consistency is to choose your words wisely and say what you mean and mean what you say. This consistency builds trust over time.
Think before you speak
Self-control is a social skill that helps avoid breakdowns in communication. Sometimes we have reactions when we are communicating. Being in a heated argument, feeling frustrated, scared, or angry can cause us to say things we regret. Developing the skill set to stop and think before speaking can help. Just because you are put on the spot, it doesn’t mean you must react. Learning to hold your thoughts captive until you can say the right thing will help you avoid saying something you don’t mean.
Don’t say something unless you plan to follow through
Two of the breakdowns in communication are idle threats or making promises you can’t or won’t keep. This can happen with parenting and close personal relationships. Healthy communication doesn’t threaten. Be sure that whatever consequences you put out are truly something you intend to follow up on. Take your thoughts captive and be sure to only say things that you know you can and will take action on. Don’t threaten or promise anything that you may regret.
Become predictable to others
In some ways, being predictable could seem boring but that’s not the case with healthy communication. Most people who engage with you regularly should be able to predict how you’ll handle communication. Make sure their predictions are that you’ll be fair, kind, and easy to communicate with. If you tend to have a wide variety of reactions based on what is being shared, it can make people apprehensive to communicate with you.
Encourage others to be consistent as well
Your example of consistency will help others. If you engage with someone regularly who is inconsistent with their communication, offer them feedback. Share how they can give off mixed signals or how their reactions affect or confuse you. Your feedback might be just what they need to become healthier communicators themselves.
Working to be consistent with your communication will make people feel safe and eager to share with you. They will not fear an over or under reaction to whatever they may have to say. Being consistent and conscientious about what you say makes you a healthier and more effective communicator all the way around.
